I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
