hell yes lets make some ravioli
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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