It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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