what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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