Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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