So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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