bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just gift wrapped bread.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
