Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
