I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
