is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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