my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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