problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
