You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
