i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need moral support for this bender
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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