then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I touched a dick in church today
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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