Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
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I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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