I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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