You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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