i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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