I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
