I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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