You really coming over, don't trick.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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