Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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