the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
