i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
