no, he came in my armpit
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
