Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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