we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Found the puke drawer
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
