This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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