we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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