I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
