After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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