Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
