I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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