OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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