normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize