Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
