i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
