Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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