Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
