Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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