i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
