So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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