I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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