i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
