We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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