People in love make me want to vomit
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
