so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Even my vagina gasped.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
