I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize