I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize