Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
