Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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