In the future we'll all be gay
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
