i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
