I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
