I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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