is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
