apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
