Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
