garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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